Money And Love Are Magnifiers
Money weaves through every aspect of our life.
It weaves through our self-worth.
It weaves through our sense of safety and power and creativity.
It weaves through our actions and our behaviours.
Money is the thread that weaves through almost everything, and it's an aspect of our modern lives that causes so much heartache and stress. Heartache and stress that doesn’t need to be.
If there's one area where we really get to see money impacted stress and heartache - it is in the realm of relationships and specifically intimate relationships.
Money is cited as the number one cause of relationship breakdown.
There are a lot of other things that contribute to relational strife, but even when it comes to work or kids, there is usually a financial thread to the tension. Relationships are one of the best places to reveal many of our money blocks and triggers.
Money is a magnifier - and so is love. They show us where we are not yet free.
Money and love magnify our limitations.
They show us where we have stories and beliefs about what's not possible for us, what we can and can't do, what we believe we have permission for, what we don't have permission for, and how we operate to stay safe.
To experience an intimate, connected partnership with emotional and behavioural vulnerability, real openhearted connection, and true partnership we have to come into our interactions fully resourced knowing that we are not holding anything back.
When it comes to dealing with the financial aspects of life and relating, we cannot be sitting scared on the sidelines and expect to experience real connection and love. But when it comes to our money stuff, there's often a lot of fear.
If we want love and connection we must walk towards that fear and be prepared to have our small scared selves revealed so our fullest greatest selves can step up and connect.
Love Starts with Us.
Being a human and navigating this money stuff for ourselves is tough enough and then we go into a relationship with another human and their money stuff and the toughness explodes.
If we want a thriving relationship we have to get clean on our own money stuff first .
We all have a relationship with money.
Whether it's a good relationship or a dodgy one, or a ho-hum one, is really important to understand.
Consider this…
Do you treat your money like a cherished lover?
If you did, what would you do differently than you're doing now?
Money loves attention. It thrives on being told what you want from it.
Money is like the ultimate empowered masculine.
It wants to serve life, it wants to serve creativity, it wants to serve creation and expansion. It wants to flow to value and serve that.
Money wants to be told how to succeed in serving you.
To do what it is meant to do, money needs to be given direction and attention.
Money needs to be given clear, honest instructions.
Money needs to be told how it’s performing.
What it needs to be doing differently.
Where you want it direct to.
How good are you at communicating your needs to this lover called money?
- Do you cherish it?
- Do you acknowledge it?
- Do you give it attention and direction?
- Do you express your gratitude for it?
When I say…
"Do you love money and do you love the money that's in your life?"
What does it bring up for you?
Does it bring some charge?
"Ooh no, you can't love money. That's bad. Money is the root of all evil. Money is something to at best be tolerated but certainly never loved!"
We can love people.
We can love animals.
We can love our job and our passion.
We can love contributing.
We can love being kind.
We can love our creativity.
Those are all clean, socially acceptable loves.
But loving money, loving managing it, loving giving it direction and guidance, loving expanding it, loving what it can do for you…
How does that make you feel?
If you think about the type of relationship you would love to have with an intimate partner…
How would you communicate with them?
Nic and I write each other a message every day. We don’t just tell each other “I love you” as we pass each other in the passage - we write down what the other and our shared love means to us.
Love And Wealth Needs Us To Slow Down
This conscious practice means I have to slow down.
I have to think. I contemplate on some of the things I love about him. Some of the things I am grateful for him for. Some specific things I appreciate about him. I recall what made me laugh or feel special. I reflect on what was magical in the last 24 hours in our relationship - the elements I want to chew on, capture and remember.
Imagine if you spent five minutes every day tracking what money came in, where your money went, what you received in return and how grateful you are for it.
This back on your money flow for the past few days. How conscious are you of what's been going on.
- Did you neglect it?
- Did you ignore it?
- Did you squander it?
- Did you celebrate it?
- Did you respect the value of the money and yourself in the choices you made?
- If you've had to work for that money, which you have anyway even when it’s asset generated income, does your behaviour with that money reflect the energy that it took to bring it in?
If you treated your money like a cherished lover you would give it respect and attention. You would be clean and clear with your requests from it. You wouldn't expect money just to guess what you need.
Head to Part 2: I’m OK, You’re OK to discover how OK you are with yourself and your money stuff and how that impacts your relationships.
“Take the Money and Love masterclass to expand your intimacy and your wealth”
