HOW NOT TO GIVE UP ON YOURSELF
What am I doing here?
Had I finally lost it?
I was cold and wet.
I was sore.
I had no option but to keep going as there was only one way out.
But…the thing that really got me was that I had chosen to be here.
This was a dream.
This is what I really wanted to do.
This is something I had spent time, money and energy making happen.
This was my contemplation recently on an amazing experience that I chose to do.
Nic and I did a pilgrim walk in Italy called the Via Degli Dei from Bologna to Florence.
This is an ancient pathway travelled since the time of the Etruscans. The 150-kilometre-long path crosses the beautiful Apennines, linking Bologna with Florence. It threads through forests, across mountain ridges and in and out of old Italian villages.
Pagan divinities give names to the mountains that the route crosses, Adonis, Jupiter, Venus and Lua, the goddess of atonement. They also give the route its name–the Path of Gods.
Click here to watch the full video.
Three days completed and it was still raining.
The glorious views I had read about were thick mist filled whiteouts.
The terrain was much tougher than I thought. The elevations were hectic. It seems these early travellers didn’t fancy contour paths.
Dark, wet, muddy and moody forests.
Slipper rocks and wet leaved pathways running with mini streams was the way.
Hardly any other walkers - possibly because the time of the year but also because this is a beautiful path less travelled.
Day 4 - a 33km day began cold and wet!
Setting off from our Agriturismo overnight stop I was listening to my thighs ache as I climbed up the steep muddy path and my knees scream as I went down. A thundering blast of a shotgun being fired over our heads stopped us dead in our tracks.
This was the moment I thought…
… “Why the hell am I doing this? Is this my wealthy life? Is this what I really want to be doing?”
Once I realised the guy wasn't actually shooting at us (it was Italian hunting season - a little detail I was not aware of), and my pulse calmed down to a mild panic…
I remembered that...
The paths and journeys we choose to take are not always going to be easy.
They're not always going to be exactly as we imagine.
Thank the Goddess for that!
Many of the most profound and extraordinary journeys you have in your life, whether it's parenthood, starting a business, risking deep vulnerability to dive in and stay in love and keep eros alive; getting and being healthy, creating great wealth… hell this thing called life…
…we wouldn't choose if we knew all the things that were going to meet us along our way.
This walk was completely different to the many wonderful walks I had done on wide roads and paths. Walks where I could drop into wonderful wonderings about life and the universe and all the things I want to do and experience. Meditative walking where I could lose myself for hours in the wonder of being alive.
Nope - on this walk I was cold, sore, tired and thanks to the difficult wet terrain - scared! It felt dangerous. I felt uncertain about my own capability. My knees were aching and wobbly by day six and seven.
I'm sharing this because in those moments, it's so easy for us to think...
“I've made a mistake, I shouldn't have done this.”
Over and over this happens on the most deeply profound journeys we choose to take.
Journeys to create real sustainable wealth, to get fit and healthy, to explore creative expression, to dive deeper into the life and love you know is there for you.
These are the things that give us the foundations to be fully in life, to be fit, to be wealthy, to be healthy, to be fully present, to have amazing relationships.
These are the journeys that really matter.
These journeys that matter are seldom all unicorns farting flowers!
Easy and breezy is the successful way - is the lie we are sold.
- The idealised “love story”. If it is meant to be it will all be easy.
- The “Secret get-rich-quick formula” element.
- The “5 mins a week to your dream six-pack body and being adored by everyone” programme!
We are fed a story that a successful life is endless candyfloss happiness.
Life in HD - always easy.
But when we stop and reflect on the times when something was tough, when we needed to overcome our own mental story, when we stayed on the path we chose, when all we want to do is bail..
… these are the journeys that have given us the most vitality, the ones we're most proud of, the ones that moved the needle for us.
I think about starting businesses, creating my wealth, learning how to invest, going out of a relationship that didn't serve me any longer despite being comfortable and easy…
… choosing to do the inner work to liberate myself where I am not yet free and to get clear on what I really want from life.
… choosing to walk through the doorways that I feared most to have unfamiliar freedom instead of my familiar suffering.
To slow down and be discerning about how I am choosing to live this one precious life.
This all came back to me on this pathway, the pathway of the gods through the high mountain terrains, going from peak to peak in the Apennines.
Every now and then the clouds would lift and I'd get to see an amazing view.
I remembered the three enablers of success we can put in place to help us stay the course and get the full value from the journeys we choose ....
Make A Commitment To Yourself
When we truly commit to something we say, “hey, not completing this is not an option” . If I'd broken my leg or something, that would be an option, but bailing out, betraying myself, giving up because it gets uncomfortable - nope THAT is never an option.
What is one of the things that you need to fully commit to?
Getting out of debt?
Setting up your regular foundational investing?
Sorting out your money flow so you have more coming in than going out? And you know where it is going?
Is it...getting into right-relationship with your food and exercise?
We all know what we need to do. That isn’t the problem.
The problem is when we make our journey optional!
Your wealth, health and intimate relationship with life and love
is NOT a nice to have.
It’s not the cherry on the cake!
It’s the whole damn feast.
As Yoda said...
Do or do not do… there is no try.
As I was walking along, as I started my very un-useful enquiry… “why am I doing this?”
I caught myself and remembered:
- The quality of my life is directly proportional to the quality of the questions I ask - and right now I was asking a poor quality question.
- I had committed to this and I had the freedom to choose to not listen to this small noisy part of my brain.
The choice to choose my higher self did not make the path any easier, my knees still yelled at me and my thighs ached and I was still wet!
But now there was no more suffering because I remembered I was free and this is where I chose to be.
Suffering is optional!
Experiencing the reality of what is happening in the moment is not a choice… what is a choice is the meaning we give those experiences.
Make Self Betrayal Difficult
Make getting out of the journeys you choose to make - hard to do.
I'd chosen a path where it wasn't easy to self-betray.
There were practical barriers to self betrayal - I couldn't just stop and get an Uber because I was on the top of the mountain!
I had paid for the walk and all the accommodation and logistics support which I would lose if I bailed!
Make A Commitment to Someone that Matters to you
I was walking the path with the love of my life and if I bailed he would have to as well. More than that - his quiet forward focus reminded me that I had more in me than I was giving myself credit for. I didn’t want to disappoint him - or myself.
Who we journey with matters.
Having people that will hold you to the highest version of yourself on these important journeys matters deeply.
Not only do we make a commitment to ourselves, but we make a commitment to those people that matter to us. Maybe it's your partner, maybe it's your kids, maybe it's an amazing friend, maybe it's a coach or a mentor.
These are just some of the things that I know help me stay on my wealthy way - and the Pathway of the Gods.
Now my whole life is about choosing to live a wealthy way.
My life's inquiry is about finding where I am not yet free - behaviorally, emotionally, relationally, spiritually, physically and financially… and to find paths and guides that will take me to the other side of these prisons.
Ahh… finally sun and our destination - Florence in sight!
I hope the story of my almost self-betrayal journey and these photos will inspire you to take the journeys that you need to take. The sometimes-tough journeys that are going to bring wonder, vitality and life to you.
A beer and an aperol spritz gazing over the rooftops of Florence tasted very sweet indeed knowing I hadn’t given up.
Think about how you are going to make sure that you stay the course even when it's tough?
Just because something is tough doesn't mean it's still not a magnificent and amazing journey.
I am so grateful I walked those 160 kilometres - through rain and mud, up and down steep elevations…
… because the sense of achievement and delight when we walked into Florence was incredible.
… because knowing I had not given up on me and one of my dreams, knowing I could trust myself with myself - is worth every bit of pain along the way.
I'm going to keep choosing more adventures, wonders, journeys that stretch me, challenge me and remind me that I'm alive and getting to experience this thing called life is the greatest gift there is.
Life is not meant to be spent trying to stay comfortable and safe whilst bailing on our dreams.
Let’s LIVE!
Big love
Ann
P.S. In 187 BC, the Romans built the central stretch of the Via Degli Dei, the Flaminia Militare, to maintain control over the Po Valley. Merchants and wayfarers used the path in the Middle Ages to travel between Emilia-Romagna and Tuscany, as did pilgrims on their way to Santiago de Compostela and Jerusalem.
During the Second World War, it was part of a German defensive line constructed to slow the advance of the Allies. Today, the Via degli Dei is being rediscovered and as travellers like Nic and I explore the Apennines a breath of new life is being breathed into depopulated rural villages.
Life needs us to move through it, to explore, so we can bring life to itself.
What is the next journey you are being called to make?
Our boots were so muddy we have to wear “shoe condoms” to be let inside the hotel
Keep going!
