The 5 Wealth Killers: #5 - Waiting for Your Permission Slip

If you missed Wealthy Killer #1 - go here to slay it; go here to free yourself from Wealth Killer #2; and go here to break free from Wealth Killer #3, and here to get over Wealth Killer #4

The 5th Wealth Killer is one of the most devastating, not because it’s the loudest, but because it’s the most invisible.

It disguises itself as politeness, obedience, or “being realistic.”
It hides in our habits, our culture, our upbringing.

And it’s this:

Waiting for Permission.

The Pattern That Keeps Us Powerless

From the moment we’re born, we’re trained to ask:

Can I go pee?
Can I go play?
Can I have this?
Can I do this?
Is it okay for me to…?
Do I have your permission to…?

As children, we rely on adults to tell us what’s right.

We lose our permission muscle early in life…

… and the hardest part of the wealthy life journey is giving ourselves permission to have and live the life we really want and to do what needs to be done to make it so.

It’s OK until it’s NOT.

As a 5-year-old, you needed to comply and ask permission to belong and be safe.

The psychotherapist and author Stephen Cope writes, “at a certain age, it finally dawns on us that, shockingly, no one really cares what we're doing with our life.”
This is a most unsettling discovery to those of us who've lived someone else's dream and betrayed our own. We’ve performed, pleased, and appeased to try and make others OK. We keep checking that it’s OK with others to do things we want to do, we seek permission so we don’t ruffle any feathers or upset anyone, all so we can be OK.

But we’re NOT OK.

And…

No one really cares except us.

If you're waiting for some outside authority to give their stamp of approval to what you're doing with your life, or want to do… and if you're telling yourself that things will only be truly okay once they've done so, then you'll be waiting a long time.

If you can't make a big decision or launch an important project or sort out your money stuff or anything else, until some other force has endorsed it as the right thing to do, then you'll fritter away your precious days waiting for permission to live your life - permission that is no one else's to give - when you could have spent them getting stuck in.

It's a trap into which we almost all fall

at one time or another.

People often make it to adulthood, even to middle age, still craving the approval of and permission from their parents, whether or not their parents are even alive.

Or substitute parent figures - like a partner or heaven forbid, a financial advisor.

We make our lives conditional on outside approval because the alternative is actually much scarier.

It would mean facing the anxiety-inducing

truth that this is it!

That your life now isn't a dress rehearsal for some later, better, realer time, when you will finally have earned the right to exist and make your own way.

Of course, in many ways, it's awful to feel as though your whole life is dependent on the approval of and permission from some external source. But it does come with one massive unspoken payoff.

As long as you're waiting for someone else to give their approval and tell you it’s OK for you to do what you want to do, you don't have to take full responsibility for how you're living now.

One of the subtler ways in which we attempt to hand over responsibility to someone or something else is evident in the way that so many of us crave some kind of system or person to look after our financial well-being for us.

Because it's less scary than acknowledging the truth that you're in charge of your own choices and outcomes.

The issue is the way we attempt to surrender responsibility for living to someone or something else, in the hope that it might somehow make us feel safe and secure.

It’s scary to let go of the idea that someone or something can save us.

To accept that there couldn't ever be a way for someone else to live life for you on your behalf.

But it's also hugely liberating, because …

…you get to call off the search.

You stop seeking approval and permission in places where it's not available.

…and you finally get on and

live the life only you can live.

The only person who can give you permission is YOU.

The fundamental problem with going through life waiting for some outside authority to endorse what you're doing is that you're putting off the fullest and most vibrant experience of life, holding back from becoming who you are, from becoming more and more true to yourself.

No lifting of that responsibility from your shoulders could ever actually happen, because after all, each time you decide to accept someone else's judgement or approval or permission of your actions, you are deciding on your own authority to do that.

The only way to live authentically is by taking responsibility for the choices you make in whatever context you find yourself.

Remember…

There are NO obligations, only consequences.

Right now, if you find yourself in a context of financial struggle and anxiety, it's up to you to take responsibility for the consequences of the choices you make about how to deal with the situation.

You really are the boss.

You are the Chief Freedom Officer of your life.

That's just what it means to be human, and no letter of resignation will ever be accepted.

It's all a bit stressful - only if we believe the lie that we need to be rescued.

And taking responsibility for our own choices and giving ourselves permission to have what we want and need is way, way better than spending our life waiting to obtain a feeling of OKness from sources that can never provide it.

It’s time to claim your life back.

It’s time to find your voice, your truth, to choose you and to know…

only you can give yourself permission.

This is the deepest, most heartbreaking longing we all have…

waiting for ourselves to choose ourselves.

Remember, you are already worthy.

You are worthy beyond measure.

There is nothing you can do, have, be, give, create, experience, … to be worthy.

This life is not about you doing things outside of yourself to seek validation of your worthiness.

It’s not about you performing, pleasing, or appeasing to make others feel comfortable, so you can be safe and worthy of belonging.

You already are.

From the place of your innate worthiness, you know you already have permission.

You have always had it.

🎥 Watch the full video on YouTube:
👉 Wealth Killer #5: Waiting for Permission

Take that permission to let go of the fear and step into your amazing, worthy, and wealthy life.

Let this be the day you stop crawling and start flying.

You have wings. Use them.

With fierce permission-free love,
Ann x

P.S. If you’re ready to take your permission slip and live the life you want ... Join The Wealth Builder Club and get all the training, support, community, and accountability you need.